Comprehensive Signs That Your Spouse or Significant Other is Cheating.

Posted by Admin on November 11, 2009

Yes it’s true no one wants to find out their wife, husband, partner, boyfriend or girlfriend has been cheating on them and has been betraying their trust, not to mention exposing them to a possible host of sexually transmitted diseases, protecting yourself and your best interests is something to take seriously, especially if you have that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach that never seems to go away.

And due to our ability to make decisions, those who choose to cheat, go to great lengths to hide their affair. This is because they know that what they are doing is wrong. This is why people who are cheaters are often hard to catch. So on that note, here is some of the potential signs that your partner may be cheating.

These signs in my opinion would apply to anyone who is stepping out of line, male or female. At times reference is made to he or she, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife but the analogy still applies.

• Apparent boredom: If the two of you once had a good rapport, enjoyed each other’s company and truly liked spending time together, but now, they seem distant, preoccupied, or generally disinterested in you, take a closer look to find out why this may be. In all relationships the electric spark that’s present in the beginning will inevitably fade over time, but, change into something different and equally as pleasant, manifesting itself as a sense of comfort and stability. And, there is most definitely a difference between comfort and boredom.
• Change in relationship: If your partner suddenly stops confiding in you or seeking your advice, this may be due to them finding it elsewhere.
• Changes in appearance: Changes in appearance is a tricky one as women often change their hairstyles or try different makeup or things that will make them appear younger, or make them feel attractive, but if her nails are always done now, they were not always before, her hair is always just so and she is dressing more provocatively now than ever before, you should be wondering why.
• Change in attire: The sudden urge to dress attractively or get a new hairstyle, shave often etc. may be due to the fact that your partner is looking to appear more attractive to another individual.
• Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.
• He leaves the house in the morning smelling like he has just stepped out from a Hugo Boss shower and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.
• He buys himself new underwear.
• His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or aftershave. You see lipstick on your husband’s shirt.
• Lack of interest in sex: There is no doubt women’s sex drives differ from men and that hormonal changes, stress, work and dealing with the kids can all come together to create the best form of birth control ever thought of, abstinence, though a lack of desire on a ongoing basis may also indicate something else is going on behind the scenes.
• Notice any changes during sex: If they seem like they just want to get the sex over with on a constant basis, you need to be concerned. You might not be as good in bed as her man, or his new woman. They might be disappointed in the sex life that you two have. Be worried if they constantly make up excuses as to why they don’t want to have sex with you. Be worried if she buys sexy clothes for herself, but does not wear them around you at all.
• He or she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you
• He or she suddenly wants more sex, more often. They tend to do this because of guilt.
• Suddenly wants to try new techniques. They have learnt or tried these somewhere.
• Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.
• Unexplained phone calls: In general, women do tend to spend a lot of time on the phone, but if your wife leaves the room to make a call or leaps out of her skin every time the phone rings, it’s probably safe to say that it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.
• Phone turned off / Not returning calls: If you try to contact your partner during times that you are suspicious of them being unfaithful, and they do not answer the phone, or answer it but quickly finds a reason to hang up with you, there’s a good chance that they are not being faithful.
• Acts weird around the phone.
• If they seem to be going to a lot of trouble to stay away from you while they are on the phone, this could be a sign they are talking to someone they don’t want you to know about. Also if they don’t pick up their phone when they are around you – the verdict could be the same. Be aware of how they react when they are on the phone around you.
• Secretive conversations: Does your partner run out of the room when he/she answers the phone to “handle business”? Or do they speak in a very low tone?
  
• She buys a cell phone and does not let you know.
• He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.
• Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID. This includes deleting text messages. You often hear the message alert, but when you check there are no messages.
• Unexplained gifts: Is your girlfriend suddenly showing up for dates wearing new and expensive looking jewelry that you haven’t given her? What about clothing, does she always seem to have a new outfit on buy you are well aware of her financial situation and she can’t seem to explain her new found wealth?
• You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse or partner.
• Unexplained absences: If your wife is usually right on time and is where she says she’ll be, then take note of any changes in this behaviour that can’t be attributed to circumstance. Spending more time with “the girls” than normal and going out on the weekends more often without inviting you to come along should also give you reason for concern.
• Change in usual work pattern: Extended hours or possibly even over night shifts. This is the most popular excuse used by a cheating partner.
• Change in general attitude: If your husband/wife suddenly makes it apparent that they are bored around you, or maybe seem overly excited on particular days, this could be a sign that they are having a relationship with somebody else. Sometimes a cheating spouse may even become angry or not want to handle simple arguments.
• Lack of money: Generally speaking a deceptive partner will be spending time as well as money on their new date. The amount spent may greatly affect their usual income, depending on how much they are looking to impress their new partner.
• New Hobbies: A cheating spouse may take interest in new things that don’t add up, such as new music, a new sport etc.
• She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.
• Deleted emails or odd computer habits: If you husband/wife is startled by your presence when they are online, or if they are constantly cleaning out their mailbox, there could be a reason for it. It is not normal behaviour for a spouse to quickly exit off a screen when someone enters the room, unless they are planning a surprise vacation or doing something they know is wrong.
• Deletes all incoming emails when they used to accumulate.
• She starts talking to another guy: Even if she openly admits it, it’s still something you should take note of. As you are aware women are hit on “all the time” by guys (especially women of particular beauty). So if your girlfriend is talking about a specific guy more than usual she may actually be “more than friends”.
• Less affectionate than usual: Does your girlfriend appear unaffected by your touch? Does she seem only partly into it when you go for a kiss? If she is being less affectionate than usual there may be a reason for this.
• Arguing over nothing: Will she argue with you about the tiniest things? If it feels like she’s coming after you, and you are unsure as to why this is happening, it could be because she is looking for and out. Reasons to validate what she did, “hence her cheating on you”. If she starts blowing up over little things and the relationship seems unsteady this may be signs of things to come.
• Something is just “Off” I don’t need to tell you what this is, we have all felt it before. When something just isn’t quite right. Listen to your gut – even if you don’t think it is the fight thing to do logically, it may in fact help you in the long run.
• You find birth control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you have had a vasectomy!
• Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are).
• Sets up a new email account and does not tell you about it.
• The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
• He becomes “accusatory”, asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.
• Raises hypothetical questions such as, “Do you think it’s possible to love more that one person at a time”?
• He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
• The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.
• Has sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
• Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.
• Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.
• You find out by accident he or she took a vacation day or personal time off work – but supposedly worked on those days.
• Spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.
• Spends and excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
• Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.
• The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.
• Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.
• You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.
• He / she loses attention in the activities in the home.
• He / she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.
• She has a “glow” about her.
• Atypical erratic behaviour.
• He sneaks out of the house.

• She sleeps with her purse by the bed.
• He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.
• The tell-tale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

Following these behavioural signs that may help you catch a cheating spouse. If you are suspicious that your spouse or significant other is cheating, pay close attention for these signs. Individually, each of these signs do not mean that your spouse is cheating. What you are looking for is a pattern of suspicious behaviour. If you can relate to a few of these signs, then you may need further advice and information.

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